


PEZ Dispenser

by fragilecapricornpanic



Series: PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters [68]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Canon Compliant, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Good Sibling Diego Hargreeves, Humor, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Pre-Canon, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Sad Vanya Hargreeves, Soft Vanya Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 04:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26467105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilecapricornpanic/pseuds/fragilecapricornpanic
Summary: “Hi...” Vanya awkwardly mumbled as she approached her brother’s car. “What are you guys doing here?” she bashfully asked, looking from one brother to the other. “He’s kidnapping me!” Klaus announced dramatically, making acrazygesture beside Diego’s ear. He batted Klaus’ hand away frustratedly, not bothering to look in their brother’s direction. “Pretend he’s not there.” Diego grunted, glaring at Klaus from the corner of his eye. “What are you doing?” he inquired with concern, scanning his vision across the empty, dark street. Vanya gulped, knowing Diego would insist he gave her a ride home.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves
Series: PRE-WRITTEN, Pre-Canon Sibling Encounters [68]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869709
Comments: 4
Kudos: 165





	PEZ Dispenser

A wolf whistle stopped Vanya dead in her tracks, she wasn’t sure how to respond. It was quite a secluded area, and she knew she was absolutely tiny. “Don’t whistle like that, you dick, it sounds like you’re a pervert.” she heard Diego scoldingly exclaim, allowing her to breathe a sigh of relief. “Well how fucking else am I supposed to whistle?!” Klaus yelped back, she then heard the distinctive sound of a whack, and then a small scuffle. Vanya was considering whether she should just continue on home, they’d probably be too distracted wrestling each other to notice her leaving. She didn’t really want to talk with her brothers, it was intimidating. It always made her feel so insignificant, despite Diego trying his best to prevent that. Klaus probably tried too, in his own way. It didn’t change that she was Number Seven though. “Vanny!” her youngest remaining brother called impatiently, causing her to dejectedly turn around to face them. Clearly she couldn’t just scurry away.

“Hi...” Vanya awkwardly mumbled as she approached her brother’s car. “What are you guys doing here?” she bashfully asked, looking from one brother to the other. “He’s kidnapping me!” Klaus announced dramatically, making a _crazy_ gesture beside Diego’s ear. He batted Klaus’ hand away frustratedly, not bothering to look in their brother’s direction. “Pretend he’s not there.” Diego grunted, glaring at Klaus from the corner of his eye. “What are you doing?” he inquired with concern, scanning his vision across the empty, dark street. Vanya gulped, knowing Diego would insist he gave her a ride home. She knew she’d spend the whole journey feeling on edge. It was just another reminder that they saw her as weak. “I’m walking home.” she regretfully admitted, bracing herself to have Diego demand she get in. 

Hell fucking no, Diego thought. “In.” he bluntly instructed. Diego leaned over to open the passenger side door, so he didn’t have to take the child lock off and risk Klaus bolting away. “You don’t have to...” his sister shyly stated, looking down to her feet glumly. “I want to.” Diego assured Vanya, gesturing for her to get in quick before Klaus lunged over the seats. Vanya nodded and bit down on her lip nervously, shuffling to slide into the car. “You don’t have to give me a ride either, Di.” Klaus quipped, trying to lean over Diego’s seat to flick the child lock off. “I swear to god,” Diego hissed, shoving Klaus back into his seat “I will call Allison.” he threatened. Klaus instantly stopped clamoring and giggled nervously, not wanting to be rumored into rehab. “Okay, okay.” he placated, turning his sights to Vanya instead. Diego started the engine back up and set off. “Did Diego ever tell you about the time I told him he’d g-“ Klaus spluttered as a quarter hit him directly in the Adam’s apple. 

Vanya shuffled in her seat awkwardly, wanting the ground to eat her. “How’s work?” she softly directed her question towards Diego, choosing to ignore Klaus’ gasping and coughing. “I got fired.” Diego reluctantly replied, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. Vanya was such an idiot, why did she have to ask him that? No wonder they hated her. “Oh, I- I’m so sorry.” she mortifiedly responded, feeling immense guilt. It was a bad topic to ask about, she knew Diego had great difficulty in holding down a job. Her brother’s temper got the best of him. “It’s fine, my boss was an asshole.” Diego grumbled, momentarily lifting his sights from the road to smirk at her. Vanya smiled back apologetically.

“I know we’re beautiful, but you look away from the road far too much - did you know that?” Klaus teased, shielding his throat with his hand. At least it wasn’t a knife their brother had thrown. “He threw a spanner at a window.” Klaus horsely giggled to Vanya, his throat still feeling sucker punched. “He’d only had the job three weeks.” Klaus pettily added on, vengeful due to his kidnapping and now attempted murder. “You don’t even have a job.” Diego grunted aggrievedly, going to throw something else at Klaus but sighing with disappointment as he saw his hand was blocking his throat. “Don’t need a job when you’re this pretty.” Klaus sang as response, paying no attention to the mocking laughs that escaped his brothers. “You’re my favorite,” he leaned over Vanya’s shoulder “I’m wasted on these guys.” he gestured to Diego and Ben. Vanya followed his gesturing, looking slightly disturbed.

“You’re wasted, all right.” Diego murmured under his breath, wishing he had the ability to turn his hearing off. “Leave her alone.” he demanded, once again whacking Klaus in the head like an annoying fly. His brother huffed petulantly and slumped back into his own seat. “How’s the violin going?” Diego wondered to his sister, cringing at how clumsy that had sounded. What kind of question even was that? She’d been playing since they were small children, of course it was going well. She was literally at music college and in an orchestra. Diego decided he’d just blame Klaus’ distractions for his stupid question. “It’s fine.” his sister answered bashfully, sounding apologetic just for speaking. He’d blame that on Klaus too. 

Fiddling with her nails, Vanya wished she had polish to pick off like Klaus. It wouldn’t be worth the distraction though, the idea of having colored nails was ghastly. She didn’t want the added attention. The sound of Klaus babbling to himself was making her more on edge with every word. Glancing over to Diego, she noticed he didn’t seem remotely bothered by him having a one-sided conversation. “Do you mind if I turn the radio on?” she forced herself to ask, despite wanting to speak as little as humanly possible. Diego nodded his head and turned the knob. Some kind of cheesy pop music began playing, until Diego hastily yanked the cassette out and threw it into the trunk. “That tape was Klaus.” he blurted sheepishly. “That wasn’t _me_ , you pr-“ Klaus once again began to splutter as another coin hit him in the throat. “You’re going to turn my throat into a PEZ dispenser!” he choked, gasping in a way that Vanya assumed for once wasn’t overly theatrical.

“Shut up.” Diego rolled his eyes at his brother’s attention seeking gasping, he knew it didn’t even hurt that much. He didn’t throw it at much speed. “You think I’m not scarred for life from the time you told me you _like_ being choked?” Diego shuddered at the mere memory, he had wanted to clean his brain out with bleach so he could forget that remark. “Don’t ruin her innocence!” Klaus gasped, shoving his hands over Vanya’s ears. Diego’s eyes grew wide with panic, he’d forgotten she was there. He hated himself for forgetting his sister’s presence, he knew it was something Vanya was painfully aware of. Now she was going to be scarred for life too. Vanya gently pulled Klaus’ hands from her head, smiling at him anxiously. Diego cleared his throat harshly, feeling his cheeks growing blushed. He quickly turned the FM radio on, hoping the music would make him less embarrassed.

If Vanya had thought she’d wanted the ground to eat her earlier, she wanted it to swallow her whole now. At least they were nearing her building. “Have you spoken to any of the others?” Vanya murmured, she’d intended for Diego to respond - but Klaus giggled before their elder brother could open his mouth. “I can’t get fucking rid of one - believe me, I’ve tried!” he exclaimed bitterly. Vanya spared him an alarmed glance and saw him glowering at the empty seat. She promptly looked away again, not wanting to open that can of worms back up. “Nope, I think Allison has probably tried to rumor us out of existence.” Diego chuckled, putting on his turn signal to head onto Vanya’s block. She wasn’t even going to ask about Luther, it was pretty self-explanatory. Neither of her brothers directed the question back to her, but Vanya wasn’t surprised by that. None of them would want to talk to her anyway. The only reason she was even sat with Diego and Klaus was because of pure coincidence.

As they parked up, Diego sent Klaus a threatening glare through the rear view mirror - daring him to try and make a break for it. “I wasn’t going to, but now I might.” Klaus taunted, kicking Diego’s seat so much it felt like he was sat in a massage chair at the mall. “No offence Van, but could you get out as soon as you open the door?” Diego begged, not wanting to have to deal with farcically chasing after their brother.

Vanya nodded timidly. “Thanks, Diego.” she kindly mumbled, Diego smirked at her. “...thanks Klaus.” she uncomfortably continued, looking at their brother like he was going to suddenly pounce on her. “The hell are you thanking me f-“ Klaus suddenly cut himself short, cowering behind his arms when Diego lurched his hand up with a coin in it. “Thank you, Vanya!” Klaus squeaked, nervously peeking from behind his arms to grin at her. Vanya sighed, and hurried from the car like Diego had asked. As soon as the door had shut, Vanya grabbed her pill bottle from her satchel and swallowed one dry. She could hear her brothers childishly bickering as they drove away. Were normal families this weird?


End file.
